IT’S A FOOD POST :: SALT LAKE CITY EDITION

In keeping with my goal of eating smoked salmon as often as possible, I got the Salmon Benedict at Guy Fieri-recommended Blue Plate Diner.

VERDICT: That fat fuckface sure knows what he’s talking about.

Day 2 was to be a day of action, and what better way to start than with a cranberry scone and gigantic cup of coffee from The Coffee Garden, located in the trendy 9th & 9th area.

VERDICT: Good bakery, great coffee and dogs, babies and white people as far as the eye can see.

As stalwart fans of local brews, we ordered the Hop Rising Double IPA out of local brewery Squatter’s at dinner Saturday night — and then bought a sixer later on, which proved to be OUR WORST DECISION EVER come Sunday. Actually, that was probably just a bad decision, because surely the worst was drinking four of these each (at 9.0% ABV) and then going back to Lofte’s at 12:30 a.m. with some newly met hotel friends to order two beers ominously and predictably called “Devastator Double Bock” (at 8.0% ABV), THEN closing the bar and going back to our room to finish the box of wine.

VERDICT: The last thing I thought I’d leave Salt Lake City with was a monstrous hangover.

On the recommendation of switface’s coworker, we ate at The Copper Onion Saturday Night. Dismayed to discover a 90-minute wait, we happily sat at the chef’s table and made eyes at the geniuses preparing our dinner. Ordered the duck poutine to start on the recommendation of our waitress, and then the crab pasta and meatloaf, the latter of which was me being adventurous, seeing as I usually order salmon and nothing but salmon. 

VERDICT: Wish I could realistically say that from now on I won’t put it in my mouth if it’s not smothered in gravy and goat cheese, but that would likely ruin rather than enhance the salmon I love so dearly. Meatloaf was the best restaurant meatloaf I’ve ever had, meaning that it’s almost as good as my mother’s.